Being vital deportment behavioural protocols in the face of British flapdoodle.
Hands up everyone who is excited beyond all province that Australia will be visited fleetingly this month by the head of an inbred, dysfunctional English family? Yes: thought so.
With stoicism, let us face the brutal truth that Charles has invited himself on this sojourn and will obligingly raid the public piggy-bank while most Australians cannot even afford to eat cake.
However, it won’t do for us to forget our forelock-tug manners until the whole thing blows over. Herewith, some utterly vital tips to commit to the fore-lobe.
What to call these obsolescent creatures? Is it ‘Your Maj’ and ‘Your Royal Harness’ on first encounter, with ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ on subsequent mentions? Son William says he just wants to be called ‘William’ “because it’s my name.” Good for you, Billy-boy. But Charles? ‘Your Anachronicity’ is quite pithy. But let’s follow the polo crowd and call him ‘Chukka.’ With everyone else, “mate” will suffice. “Dawg” is discouraged.
Can we get physical? Go ahead, stick out your hand. If he fails to grasp it (or its meaning) that’s his........