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1. Defund the colleges

by Mike Solana, editor in chief

In new analysis from Nate Silver, we discover what most of us have long suspected: the Democratic Socialists of America, a political organization seeking to abolish the Senate, the Supreme Court and the Executive, and to seize most American industry and run it all centrally from Hasan Piker’s Dumb Politburo, is especially popular among the highly-educated… but not just any highly-educated.

No, it seems broke losers with bachelors (sub $60K a year) are the most likely to find the work of Mao Zedong compelling.

But did the colleges make our most downwardly mobile elites communist, or are communists just uniquely a sort of people who would expect society to provide them with a ladder to riches, and then seek to destroy the world because their doctorate in queer theory didn’t communicate to a home in the Hamptons like their parents had?

Who knows. Who cares! Just defund the colleges already.

2. Democracy dies in laughter

by Riley Nork, writer

At last week’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner, President Trump slipped into a rare Bodhisattva-like comedic flow state, waxing poetically about Chris Christie fighting for........

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