Don’t dread Christmas and Hanukkah gatherings over politics |
A patient of mine sat in her car outside her parents’ house on Thanksgiving and rehearsed neutral topics the way someone preps talking points before a tense meeting.
She’d driven hours with her kids, yet she froze at the curb.
She feared one wrong reaction would expose something about her character.
A relative might raise politics, and she’d be judged by how she reacted.
She went inside, but she spent the entire day on edge.
Since Thanksgiving, I’ve heard versions of this across my practice as people look toward Christmas and Hanukkah.
A college student planned strategic bathroom breaks to avoid her Trump-loving uncle.
A man rewrote a simple text to his sister several times because he worried the tone might reveal some unintended stance.
People worry one comment about the president, Israel or the election will blow up the room.
Many now walk into family gatherings rehearsed and guarded, like they’re entering an evaluation instead of a holiday.
Part of what’s driving this is the rise of a broader “therapy culture.”
For years, people have been told discomfort is dangerous, disagreement is threatening and emotional unease is a sign something is wrong.
The culture encourages people not to build resilience but to interpret ordinary tension as toxic.
A difference in opinion becomes disrespect. A moment of friction becomes betrayal.
When everyday conversations are........