Freed's 2026 predictions: Trump self-names Lady Liberty, Quebec elects a fire hydrant, and more |
So long 2025, you creepy, crawly, scary, slimy, greedy, bloody, nasty, meanie of a year.
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There with you then. Here with you now. As a critical part of the community for over 245 years,The Gazette continues to deliver trusted English-language news and coverage on issues that matter. Subscribe now to receive:
There with you then. Here with you now. As a critical part of the community for over 245 years,The Gazette continues to deliver trusted English-language news and coverage on issues that matter. Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.
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It’s good to see you in the rear-view mirror, but what lies on the road ahead?
As always, Guru Josh is peering into the future with his new beet-juice-powered, matcha-tea-enhanced, AI crystal ball that’s 80 per cent right 50 per cent of the time.
So trust me when I tell you what’s coming in 2026.
In the U.S.: After renaming the Kennedy Center the Trump-Kennedy Center and commissioning several new “Trump Class” navy battleships, the president will continue his self-naming spree by renaming Venezuela as Trumpezuela.
(“It’s a beautiful new name! They’re lucky to get it!”)
Among other new trumped-up names to expect: the Trump-Lincoln Monument, The Empire-Trump State Building and the Supreme Trump Court.
The White House will be rechristened the Trump Golden House, while America’s most famous landmark will become the Statue of Libertine Trump.
In Canada: The American exodus to our country will swell, as waves of U.S. refugees illegally flee north.
The RCMP will bust a giant Democrat-smuggling network that’s sneaking in middle-class Americans to work in a secret underground economy.
These poor souls will toil in ghastly conditions, working as everything from underground orthodontists and entertainment lawyers to big tech data engineers in software sweatshops.
To stop this flood........