The Joke That Wrote Itself

There is a particular category of political absurdity that defies satire, not because it is too subtle to mock, but because it is so shameless that any satirist attempting to embellish it would only shrink it. Iraq has once again gifted the world with such a moment.

The Commander-in-Chief of Iraq’s Armed Forces, Iraqi PM Mohammed Shia’ al-Sudani, recently issued a formal statement extending his thanks to the Ministry of Defense for successfully shooting down two drones that were heading to strike an Iraqi airbase. A routine enough communiqué, one might think, until one pauses to consider a small but catastrophic detail: the Commander-in-Chief also leads the Ministry of Defense. He also leads the Popular Mobilization Forces — the PMF, or Hashd al-Sha’abi — which launched the drones in the first place. And the targeted airbase? Also under his command. In other words, one man launched an attack on himself, defended himself against it, and then formally thanked himself for the successful defense. The statement was not leaked. It was not a parody. It was published. 

The Architecture of Absurdity

To understand how such a situation becomes structurally possible, one must grasp the peculiar, deliberately engineered dysfunction at the heart of the Iraqi state.

Iraq’s national army was built as a unifying, sovereign institution: a force loyal to the Iraqi state, capable of defending the country against all threats, whether they come from Tehran, Washington, or elsewhere. The Popular Mobilization Forces (PMFs) were created in 2014 in the crucible of an existential crisis, when the Islamic State swept through northern Iraq and the national army collapsed. A fatwa from Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani called on Iraqis to defend their country. Hundreds of thousands responded. The PMF was born of genuine patriotism and genuine desperation.

But it did not stay that way.

Many of its most powerful factions, namely Kata’ib Hezbollah,........

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