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Sex is great and if it wasn't about men, it would be even better

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In January 2019 after a string of sub-par encounters, I announced in an article that I would not be having bad sex for the rest of the year. I hoped a public post would hold me to account.

Technically, I haven’t broken my manifesto commitment yet. I nearly had an orgasm from sex this year, which means I’m in better stead to beat last year’s score of once, in December 2018. Special thanks to OKCupid! for the hook up.

In a bid to level up on empowerment and sexual fulfillment, I got subscriptions to OMG YES, a website built to inform women about their sexual pleasure and Erika Lust, porn designed for women. But taking a lean-in approach to my sex life – attempting to be more assertive and vocal about my own needs – has only gotten me so far.

I am still, at heart, a socially-conditioned chronic people pleaser that tends to meet men that want to move things as quickly as possible to their favourite section of sex: penetration. Structural problems are structural problems, even when it comes to sex.

New research by the End Violence Against Women Coalition into public attitudes about heterosexual sex sheds light on how sexist stereotypes and pervasive beliefs might be holding me, and many of us, back in the bedroom.

Their survey of nearly 4000 people found 57 per cent of people think women are more........

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