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Our relationships expert Zelda West-Meads answers your questions

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If you have a problem, email z.west-meads@you.co.uk. Zelda reads all your letters but regrets that she cannot answer them all personally

I love my mum… but I don’t like her

I am an only child and my father died aged 36 from cancer; I was only ten. My childhood was awful after that. My mother started drinking heavily, initially through grief, but she never stopped. She would tell me on numerous occasions that she didn’t want children and that I was only here because my father had wanted them. She also assaulted me many times when she was drunk, once ripping an earring out as she slapped me across the face with keys in her hand. She is now 82, living alone, and is in poor health. Unfortunately, I also have health problems, which forced me to give up work three years ago. I live with chronic pain due to fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis and pancreatitis; my husband is my full-time carer. Because of my health I cannot travel, so I haven’t seen my mum for a year, even though she was recently admitted to hospital following a fall. I don’t like her but because she is my mum I love her and I have invited her countless times to move in with us. I don’t really want her to but I feel that it is my duty. She has........

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