Dubai’s defenders love to tell you that their luxury desert paradise is so safe you can leave your phone on the beach and nobody will touch it.

Anybody with an Instagram account knows that this theory is proven about 250,000 times a day, as pneumatic influencers, content creators and aspirational sun-seeking holidaymakers prop up their iPhones, set the self-timer and pose in front of the glittering Persian Gulf, the sleek, curved sail of the 7-star Burj al-Arab hotel towering from its private island in the background.

Depending on who you ask, the United Arab Emirates – and Dubai in particular – is an oasis, a tax haven, a playground for vulgar oligarchs, a gross wealth; a family-friendly society that rewards hard-working people and supports and protects its people from crime, poverty, unrest or any of the other ills that plague broken Britain. The state’s entire infrastructure is geared towards catering to Western convenience, and safety is central to that.

Except, obviously, even a paternal, benevolent, billionaire sheikh, as the UAE’s promotional machine presents Dubai’s ruler Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum to be, cannot insure against conflict in the........

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