I am always fascinated by how other people live. And by “fascinated” I mean “almost relentlessly appalled”. Occasionally there are moments of wonder and aspiration, of course. When I hear of people who not only shower every day but moisturise too, or who have a specific day for the towel wash instead of waiting for someone to get impetigo and deciding that, yeah, probably time for something to go in the hot cycle. But mostly, appalled.

And never more so than when I read something like the recent survey that found that one in three older married people hides money from his or her spouse. One in three! One in three! Forgive my language but – what the hell? It should be so much higher, and that is because 100 per cent of women in heterosexual relationships should be doing so.

No, don’t start. I don’t care how much you love or trust him. You need a private fund. And if you have children, you need a bigger private fund. Why? Let me account the........

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