As Russell Crowe once roared in Gladiator: “Are you not entertained?” Sir Keir Starmer’s Labour government has got off to a reassuringly boring start – but the Conservatives, at least, are putting on a gladiatorial show this summer for those suffering from withdrawal symptoms three weeks on from the general election.

On Monday afternoon we will find out who the confirmed “runners and riders” will be in the Tory party’s third leadership contest in two years. Although this always seems an odd term to use, because there will be many riders fighting over just one horse – the poor old Conservative party.

Labour’s commanding majority of 158 – even after the suspension of the seven rebels over the two-child benefit cap – strongly suggests there won’t be the faintest chance of another Tory prime minister much before 2029. And then only if the Conservatives win the general election, which seems unlikely.

We plebs in the stands can sit back and enjoy the spectacle of Tory wannabes metaphorically slicing, garroting and netting each other, just like they did when they were in government. This time without having to worry that the victor is going to stagger straight into Number 10.

On past form, the man or woman who finally emerges on 2 November as Rishi Sunak’s replacement is never going to be Prime Minister. As leader of the opposition they may have a bearing on how the Conservative party reshapes and reforms itself, but no more than that.

The last time Labour buried the Conservatives in a landslide in 1997 it took four party leaders to get back into power. William Hague........

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