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Predictions for 2020 from a malfunctioning crystal ball

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Ever since I inherited this cracked crystal ball from my late colleague Alan Watkins, it has failed to function well. It was in fine working order when he used it to compile his end-of-year Almanack of predictions for the following year, but in recent years it has grown increasingly erratic.

Last year, I remember, it went so wrong that it showed an indistinct image of one of the country’s most eminent lawyers in a green kimono, wielding a baseball bat in a London garden with apparently murderous intent. Naturally, I ignored it.

So this year, I present predictions for 2020 with trepidation. I have my doubts about the forecast for November in particular. I am not sure that the royal family would ever take Greta Thunberg that seriously.

Sharing the full story, not just the headlines

What will happen in January, however, is not much in doubt. The Labour Party will hold a lot of meetings, mostly in convenient central London locations, with titles such as “Where Now for the Left?”, “Can Labour Ever Win Again?” and “The Semiotics of Class in Rebecca........

© Independent