Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to

The news, even that about MLB being back in full swing, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon. Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:

Batter up! Major League Baseball is back in full swing!

… And, the White Sox already are mathematically eliminated.

Hiding in the mountains, the........

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