In their new doomsday compound, each of the uber-rich will be hunkered down in what’s been dubbed a “Billionaire Bunker.”

Trust me when I say that a home on Indian Creek Island is not for you.

First of all, you’re not a billionaire. But even a billion bucks wouldn’t buy your way onto this island in Florida’s Biscayne Bay. It’s the exclusive domain of such multi-multi-billionaires as Jeff Bezos, Larry Page, Ivanka Trump … and now Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook and Instagram.

Mark, nicknamed “Zuck,” has just paid $170 million for a piece of this very special speck of turf, including a “cottage” with 9 bedrooms, 11 baths, a gym, a massage room and a 1,500-gallon aquarium. Also, he built his own personal hair salon, plus a library with — get this — a secret passageway. No clue as to whether he reads any books, or just uses the passage to escape.

Secondly, you wouldn’t really be happy on Indian Creek Island, because it’s a pretentious fake. This........

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