Minnesota Nice Interviews Clint the Barber |
Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Clint the Barber.
From beautiful downtown Slenderville, Minnesota at 97.5 KNUT-FM, it’s the Minnesota Nice Radio Show. And here’s your host Tommy Ellis.
Welcome to the show. My hair is so long, I decided to get it cut. We have one barbershop in town on Reindeer Road. Clint Underwood opened his shop 25 years ago. By golly, get my hair styled for $5. He does a heck of a job trimmin’ mustaches, too. In fact, I complimented my neighbor on her Clint-styled mustache. Suddenly we’re not friends anymore. Go figure.
Hey Tommy. Thanks for havin’ me on the show. Unfortunately, I have bad news. Due to the cost of livin’, haircuts are gonna be $5.25. Inflation ya know. It’s so high that my favorite rapper changed his name from 50 Cent to 75 Cent.
Makes no Cent. Anyways, tell the folks what a barber does.
Sure. I specialize in cuttin’, stylin’ and shavin’ mens hair and beards so they look purdy. Also provide special services like mustache stylin’, shampoos, scalp treatment, even hair colorin’.
Always wondered. If someone changes their color to or from red, does that make them transginger?
Nope. But it takes balls.
You have lots of tools in your shop.
Yep. Scissors, electric clippers, straight edge razors for close shaves and a dust buster to suck up boogers after I trim nose hairs.
Most important. Your barbershop is where all the gossip is exchanged by us local folk.
A hundred percent. Though a fella from out of town was visitin’ his family last week and had an unusual request when he came in for a haircut. He asked where he could buy a toupee.
Not off the top of my head.
Let’s talk about mustaches. Been fascinated with them my whole life. Remember when Spencer Troll was the coolest kid in school?
Damn straight. Spencer is a legend in Slenderville. He had a bitchin’ mustache and driver’s license in the 6th grade.
Speakin’ of school, you is a student of history. Do ya know the difference between Putin and Stalin?
Stalin had a mustache.
Ya punked me. Get serious, Tommy. It’s a fact Spencer grew a mustache so he could look like his mother.
You betcha. Mustaches have taken over the town. Happenin’ right under our nose. Clint Underwood everyone. See ya tomorrow.
Minnesota Nice (c) Dean B. Kaner
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