What To Know Before You Start Dating Someone Who Is 'Practically Divorced' |
What stage of "practically divorced" is actually a good time to start dating?
You’ve been swiping through Tinder for a while now and have even debated throwing in the towel on dating apps. But one day, at long last, you match with someone who seems like the real deal. You start messaging each other. You keep messaging each other. You’re definitely vibing and hope to take things to the next level with an IRL meetup.
Except there’s one not-so-itty-bitty problem. Their “ex” is still in the picture.
Even though a person’s previous relationship may have ended months ago, they could still technically be married. Or still living with their ex-partner. Or haven’t yet figured out the logistics with the kids. Or all of the above.
Since the average timeline for a divorce in the United States is about 11 months, it’s unrealistic for people to hold off on starting a new relationship before the ink is dry on the legal documents. But if you’re the “single” party in this potential new relationship, you may be putting yourself in a vulnerable position if you’re not armed with the facts from the outset.
This is not to say things can’t work out, but you’ll have a much higher chance at long-term happiness if you enter the relationship with a heightened awareness about your new significant other (SO).
To help you navigate the legal and romantic challenges of dating someone who is “practically divorced,” HuffPost sought advice from family law attorneys, a certified dating coach and a marriage and family therapist. Read on for their thoughts on approaching this new relationship with healthy boundaries, while being mindful of red flags.
Transparency Is Key
This may seem obvious at first glance — and not always easy at the beginning of a new relationship — but if you plan to date someone who isn’t divorced yet, facts are your friend.
The first thing you’ll need to establish is your significant other’s definition of “practically divorced,” because it’s a broad term: “To one person, ‘practically divorced’ means the agreement is done, I’m waiting for paperwork, or we’re on the last topic and our lawyers are circulating it,” explained Sarah Jacobs, a matrimonial law attorney and co-founder of Jacobs Berger LLC in Morristown, New Jersey. But another person may say they’re “practically divorced,” yet “they haven’t even settled discovery, and they have no idea what’s up next. It could take another year to two years for this case to be........