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Society Expects Black Single Mums To Fail. I Won’t Be Written Off

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When my first ultrasound scan revealed I was expecting twins, I burst into tears.

Sadly, these weren’t tears of joy but tears of the realisation that I was at a pivotal crossroads in my life. I was a scared 21-year-old student, in many ways still a child, still trying to find myself and what I wanted to do with my life. And now I was going to have to figure life out while raising twins on my own?

The narrative I told myself of what single motherhood was going to be like came from my own upbringing by my mum, a single mother of five. I saw a Black matriarch struggle, and I assured myself I wouldn’t end up in similar circumstances; yet unbeknownst to me, fate and poor choices in men somehow made it so.

I had also inherited the deep-seated social stigmas that paint single mothers as unstable, shameful and poverty-stricken. As a woman, I am forced to make choices in life that are more costly than those of men; such as choosing children over a career. As a Black woman, these weighty choices feel even more stark knowing the old adage that, because I am Black, I have to work twice as hard to get half as far.

There is too the stereotype that Afro-Caribbean women like me disproportionately have children outside of marriage and from multiple fathers. This stems from racist perceptions of Black families that neglect to consider the effects of historical racism, relationships within Black families, and even........

© HuffPost

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