If Your Child's Often Silent In Social Situations, It Might Not Be Shyness |
If Your Child's Often Silent In Social Situations, It Might Not Be Shyness
Some kids might speak freely and confidently at home, yet become quiet and "shut down" at school.
Parents editor at HuffPost UK
What Kids Are Carrying is a HuffPost UK series focusing on how the nation’s youngest generation is *really* feeling right now – and how parents and caregivers can support them.
When children are unable to speak around certain people, or in certain settings, they could be struggling with selective mutism, which is often underpinned by anxiety and impacts roughly one in 140 young children.
Fiona Yassin, a family psychotherapist and founder and clinical director of The Wave Clinic, said the phenomenon can present very differently depending on the context.
“A child may be completely unable to speak with adults, while still managing to communicate with peers. They may speak freely and confidently at home, yet become entirely silent within a school environment,” she explained.
“For some children, speech may fluctuate depending on how safe, relaxed, or pressured they feel.”
For parents, it can be “deeply confusing” having a child who is expressive, creative, and articulate at home but unable to communicate verbally at school – “yet this contrast is often a key feature of selective mutism and something that is very much worth investigating and understanding further,” said the therapist.
Selective mutism isn’t shyness – nor is it rudeness
Selective mutism can easily be misunderstood as extreme shyness or even interpreted as stubbornness, defiance or rudeness.
Parents can end up harbouring a lot of guilt or feelings of failure, as they worry they’ve somehow caused or contributed to this behaviour. And these feelings can be further compounded when other people take it as a lack of manners or rudeness on your child’s part.
“In reality, selective mutism is an anxiety-based condition. It’s not wilful behaviour, defiance, or a refusal to communicate,” said Yassin.
“Rather, it’s a young person experiencing........