Are You Self-Silencing? A Psychologist Shares The Signs And Why It's A Recipe For Burnout |
Are You Self-Silencing? A Psychologist Shares The Signs And Why It's A Recipe For Burnout
It's easy to fall into this pattern – especially if you're caring for kids and ageing parents.
Parents editor at HuffPost UK
This article features expert insight from psychologist Anjula Mutanda.
When you’re caring for children, and perhaps ageing parents too, it can be easy to fall into a pattern of self-silencing.
“Many of the women I speak to who are caring for ageing parents, a partner or children, or all at once, share a common pattern – they’ve slowly stopped advocating for themselves without noticing,” says Anjula Mutanda, a psychologist working with stairlift brand Stannah.
“However, your wellbeing and presence in your relationships are what makes what you do possible.”
If you find yourself in a pattern of ignoring your own needs, holding back on speaking up, or avoiding addressing something that’s bothering you (often for the sake of not being seen as a burden or appearing confrontational), you could be “self-silencing”.
“This psychological behaviour is especially prevalent in women, particularly those in caregiving roles, where the balance is lost between meeting your own emotional needs and other people’s,” says Mutanda.
Social conditioning and gender norms play a big part in this. Psychologist Maytal Eyal wrote for Time that “our culture rewards women for being perpetually pleasant, self-sacrificing, and emotionally in........