You Probably Need More Age-Gap Friendships |
The numbers 15 and 20 might sound reasonable when you’re deciding how much to tip your server at a restaurant. But when they refer to an age gap between romantic partners, they’re more likely to raise eyebrows.
Even if you’re not a fan of May-December romances, experts say that age-gap friendships are one type of intergenerational relationship we can all get behind. According to research, we tend to gravitate toward people who are similar to us, a phenomenon called homophily.
Consequently, our friend groups often include people who share our interests, education, politics and life experience.
When your friends are of a similar age, it’s hard to avoid comparing your life to theirs. “One of the benefits of having older friends who are in a different life stage is the freedom to share without conflicted feelings,” a licensed clinical psychologist said.And while it might seem like a good idea to prioritise friendships with people you can relate to, you might be missing out on what other generations have to offer. Below, experts discuss the benefits of befriending someone who is 10-plus years older or younger than you.
The real benefits to having older friends
You’re less likely to doubt your pace in life.
When your friends are of a similar age, it’s hard to avoid comparing your life to theirs. Maybe they just received a promotion or set off on their honeymoon. On the outside, you might be congratulating them for reaching these milestones, but it’s only natural to worry about falling behind.
“One of the benefits of having older friends who are in a different life stage is the freedom to share without conflicted feelings,” Charlynn Ruan, a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Thrive Psychology Group, told HuffPost. “We can share our wins without feeling like we are bragging or triggering our friends who might not be doing well in that area.”
Jenny Woo, a Harvard-trained emotional intelligence researcher and founder/CEO of Mind Brain Emotion, and author of 52 Essential Relationships, agreed, saying, “Age-gap friendships help younger people zoom out from the comparison trap by reminding them that timelines are flexible and growth is nonlinear.” An older friend can provide a safe space to talk without the pressure of having to compete or........