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The KonMari Method Helped Me Unpack My Grief After Losing My Son

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07.05.2019

Every time I open a drawer in my son's nursery, I feel a little burst of joy. All the sleepers neatly rolled, the bibs folded and lined up next to each other so I can see the fun pattern on each one. It looks entirely different than it did three months ago when the contents were all stacked (or piled) on top of each other. Dressing my ten-month-old is more efficient and more fun. Thank you, Marie Kondo.

Some of the biggest messes in my life have not been in drawers or closets though. The truly ugly and dysfunctional messes have been the ones on the inside — the ones in my head.

I lost my 16-month-old son in May of 2017, and as you can imagine, the experience took its toll. My head was full of terrifying, debilitating thoughts as can often be the case after loss or trauma. I was certain it was my fault. I was certain I'd live in fear for the rest of my life. I thought sadness would follow me everywhere I went. The guilt and shame and worry were overwhelming and I needed a way to let them go.

You have hopefully never experienced such a loss, but we are all bombarded with countless thoughts every day. While we make coffee, eat lunch, read to our children, we have an ongoing 'mental chatter' that plays in the background. We waste a lot of energy on useless thoughts.

Spiritual teacher Eckart Tolle writes, "about 80 to 90 per cent of most people's thinking is not only repetitive and useless,... much of it is also harmful. Observe your mind and you will find this to be true. It causes a........

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