What To Say When Your Friend Won't Stop Complaining About Their Partner |
Encourage your friend to turn inward and reflect on the bigger picture.
Close friends talk about pretty must everything, so it’s only natural that relationship woes would be part of the conversation.
“Most of us need a safe space to talk through relationship stress ― especially in long-term partnerships where the day-to-day stuff can build up,” Sanah Kotadia, a licensed professional counsellor with Balanced Minds Therapy, told HuffPost. “Sometimes, you just need to feel heard by someone who isn’t in it with you. Venting can be a helpful outlet when it allows you to process what you’re feeling, get perspective or just let go of some tension.”
Hearing someone say “yeah, that would bother me too” goes a long way and can even help your relationship.
“In some instances, unloading to a friend is a better choice than picking every battle with your partner ― i.e. if it’s about the fact that they are not as neat as you are and it’s something you know you have to live with,” said Tracy Ross, a licensed clinical social worker specialising in couples and family therapy. “A little venting with friends may be better than a daily argument about it.”
But if a little venting turns into seemingly constant complaining about your partner, you run the risk of putting your friends in an uncomfortable position. And for those friends, it’s hard to know what to do. Below, experts share their advice for dealing with these situations.
Help them turn inward and reflect.
“If you’re the friend on the receiving end, you don’t need to have all the answers ― but you can help your friend reflect,” Kotadia said.
She recommended saying something like, “I’ve........