The anxieties of the soft-parenting club |
“Abhi mummy ki chappal Atlantic ke upar se udti hui aayegi!” (Mummy’s flying slipper will reach me across the Atlantic.)
The chat history of my cousins’ group on WhatsApp, rather appropriately named “We Are All a Little Mad Here”, is dotted with such messages. Whatever be the context, the mother’s flying chappal is an ubiquitous and strong metaphor there. Or a memory, even a false one. Whether they used the chappal on us or not is debatable, especially in front of the softly-parented grandchildren. Tiger moms have transformed into soft bunnies.
Most of us have an extra dose of our parents’ faults. We have tried our best to raise our children in a manner diametrically opposed to how we grew up. We have learnt to cultivate high emotional responsiveness, non-punitive discipline, and an emphasis on children’s autonomy. We express our frustrations only in therapy rooms and nowhere else. We seem to be following the soft-parenting rulebook like an annoying front-bencher, yet we are scared and struggling. What are we doing wrong?
The only answer one can come up........