Our jolly old friends at the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists will reveal an update to the Doomsday Clock today in an eagerly anticipated announcement that showcases how close they believe humanity is to a complete and utter catastrophe.
Funnily enough, a similarly sombre ritual takes place in The Herald’s office on a Monday night when the sports editor peers gingerly at the elaborate timepiece on his wrist and mutters the apocalyptic lament, “that bloody disaster of a golf column should be on its way.”
During my many moments of strenuous idleness – and believe me, staring at a laptop screen trying to think of an introduction to these Tuesday haverings can be exhausting – I occasionally wonder what the end of the world would look like.
In my mind, it’ll be a spectacle broadly equivalent to the aftermath of Storm Isha. But, in addition to blue wheelie bins left scattered in wild abandon, splintered garden fences and no trains, there will also be flocks of shrieking, fire-breathing pterodactyls incinerating anything and everything in an orgy of terrifying destruction. Or something like that.
So, as we tick-tock our way towards Armageddon, lets crack on with this week’s meander.
The winners around the golfing world on Sunday were a wonderful bunch,........