Who do Gen Z think they are? They are most boring generation of all time |
There’s a new fashion among young folk. It’s calling the older generation ‘unc’, short for uncle. Neil Mackay, who has fought ageing with all his might, rages at the trend
I’ve always been weird about my age. Even as a kid I hated birthdays. I liked the parties and the presents and the attention - as despite all my best efforts I cannot fully suppress my raving inner narcissist and rapacious greed - but you can stick the idea of celebrating the annual march one year closer to the grave.
Why do we mark the sweep of the Grim Reaper’s scythe like grinning chimps? Surely it would be better to wear mourning black? Or acknowledge our birthday, in silent and stoic fashion, for what it really is: ‘Cheating Death for Another Year Day’.
To my rank and shoddy shame, there was a period throughout my 40s when I lied liberally about my age. It started when I remained 39 for three years, refusing to enter my forties. Then I stayed 40 for a few years, when maintaining the ‘I’m 39 lie’ became impossible given most folk have a basic grasp of mathematics and biology.
I stuck doggedly to 45 for five years. Then, when I hit 50, I cried for a week, swallowed the truth like strychnine, quit the vain fibbing, and accepted that youth and beauty were now dead.
For a while, I felt like Boris Karloff in The Mummy - some withered and ancient freak designed to frighten children, and best kept wrapped in bandages. I checked the mirror daily with a magnifying glass, searching for death’s love letter: the wrinkle.
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