Remothering: how to stop family trauma claiming Christmas |
Research shows that mental health can nosedive during the Christmas period. Columnist Kerry Hudson has an answer: why don't we treat ourselves like the best kind of parent would?
It is the season to be merry and indeed I am the veritable spirit of Christmas. My house looks like an elf has vomited all over it. I've gone through a kilo of cinnamon baking, I've been entering every room accompanied by Christmas music like I'm in my own pantomime and we got a tree so inappropriately big for our kitchen that pine needles shower into our cereal every morning.
But it wasn't always this way. You see, I had few good memories of Christmases as a kid. Tinsel and carols only reminded me of some of the hardest times of our family. Just hearing Noddy Holder blast out of a speaker in adulthood could light up my body in fight or flight like a Christmas tree itself.
My mum did her best but when I was a kid there was simply too little to go around. We were already struggling and Christmas just shone a bright light on all the darker corners. My single mother, entirely without a support network, on benefits and struggling emotionally and mentally with the load any time of year, found it almost impossible to cope with the extra demands of Christmas. Being kids, my sister and I wanted too much, we wanted more food in the cupboard, more family to spend our Christmas with, more presents, more good cheer.
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