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I Could Have also Fallen into the Manosphere*

By Andres Kogan Valderrama

HAVANA TIMES – When I think about the manosphere*, I often think about what I was like when I was fifteen or twenty years old. I was very shy, had social anxiety, and found it extremely difficult to relate to other people. I was pretty quiet, and some of my male classmates made fun of me precisely because of that, because I didn’t know how to stand up for myself or simply didn’t respond. I felt embarrassed and deeply uncomfortable knowing that other guys were watching to see how I would react.

The women I was attracted to also made me very nervous. I didn’t know how to approach them, what to say, or how to show someone I liked her. Many times, I preferred doing nothing rather than facing the possibility of rejection. I wondered whether I was attractive enough, why a woman wouldn’t notice me, what she expected of me, and what I needed to do to make her like me.

I also looked at other men and felt they had something I lacked. A certain confidence when speaking, standing up to others, or approaching women. I didn’t really know how to develop that confidence. And I didn’t have anyone to talk to about those insecurities either. There were things you were simply supposed to know because you were a man.

I never received comprehensive sex education. I learned many things about sexuality through pornography, which is deeply........

© Havana Times