'I’m a single mum of two small boys and I’m poor - help please'

I’m a single mum of two small boys, and I’m poor.

I hate that I can’t give my kids the things others have, and I get really down as I can’t see a way out of my situation and worry that my boys’ lives will never get better.

I’m sorry you are finding life such a struggle, but things can improve over time, so keep that in mind when you are at your lowest.

Your uphill struggle is all the heavier because the burden of everything is yours, and yours alone, which can make the best of days overwhelming.

It might be a little comfort, but some of the most affluent and driven people started off poor, which built up resilience.

Their life struggles meant they had no choice but to build pathways to a better future for themselves, so don’t feel guilty about your boy’s future because no one knows how fantastically well they may turn out to be.

Check out One Parent Families Scotland, who can help with benefits, tax credits, childcare, child maintenance, and support for you.

https://opfs.org.uk/or call the Lone Parent Helpline on 0808 801 0323.

I hope you can get past this phase and start to enjoy life with your boys.

Our elderly mum is in a care home and has struck up a special friendship with a male resident.

Dad passed away five years ago, so I look on it as harmless companionship, and I’m happy she has someone to make her smile again.

However, my brother is fuming and says she is too old for that ‘carry on’ and should be ashamed of herself.

Our visits are now awkward, strained, and Mum can’t understand why.

How can I restore peace?

Your brother is stuck in a past life where his parents were a loving couple, and life was rosy, therefore he can’t accept his mum showing affection towards another man.

He has never experienced his parents' divorce, or die at a young age, or had to connect to a step mum or dad, and for those reasons, he has had a sheltered family upbringing, which he should be grateful for.

(You might want to point this out.

But he is mature enough now to adapt to this new situation.

Neither of you can be with her 24/7, which is normal, so accepting her friendship with a man who brings a smile to her face is surely for the better.

Remind him that your mum still misses your dad every single day, and ask that he considers her feelings, and not his own, for once, and even if he fakes it, he makes sure each visit is a pleasant one because they won’t last forever.

Also, perhaps if he spent a little time in the company of this elderly male companion, he would see that he is not replacing his dad…merely filling a void!

Got a question for our agony aunt?

Email askjanice@glasgowtimes.co.uk.

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