GUEST APPEARANCE: 'Big Al' offers some advice

Several years ago, the arrival of a new year prompted a resolution: I resolved to resume a former practice of reading an old-fashioned print newspaper on a daily basis. One that would keep me informed of news, especially of the local variety, beyond what I was receiving from social media and from talking with Big Al and Charley Knuckles, the latter being a man of very view words and even less humor. I made the obvious choice: the Finger Lakes Times.

I explored the various subscription options and settled on one that suited my needs and finances. For a while all was well. Then one day, as I was getting that week’s sure thing NFL bets from Big Al, the conversation turned to a local news item. “Yeah,” Big Al said, “I seen in the newspaper that the Ox’s kid got arrested.”

“You read the newspaper, Al?” I asked, remembering his infamous response in high school English class when Mr. Porter asked if he had read the assigned short story: “I ain’t read nuthin.’”

“Yeah. Why not? I get it for free.”

“For free? How’s that?” I asked, callously forgetting about the Ox’s kid.

I was shocked to hear that the FL Times was giving the paper free to approximately 56% of its subscribers, covering the giveaway by boosting its price for the other 44%.

OK, if you haven’t already guessed that I’m pulling your readerly leg, rest assured that I am. What........

© Finger Lakes Times