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How to “Marie Kondo” your personal relationships

3 1 0
14.03.2019

If, like many Netflix subscribers, you’ve watched Marie Kondo’s show, you may have been driven to purge your worldly possessions. Now that you’ve renounced consumerism (for the time being), perhaps you’re itching to declutter other parts of your life that don’t always bring you joy.

Cleaning out your closet is well and good, but it’s also important to take stock of the people and relationships in your life, according to therapist and friendship researcher Miriam Kirmayer. “Relationships should add value and meaning to our lives,” Kirmayer says. “We know from research that the quality of our relationships is really intimately connected with the quality of our lives.” The people you surround yourself with–and your relationships to them–can inform your physical and mental health, overall happiness, and even productivity and success at work. With that in mind, here are some things to consider if you’d like to KonMari your personal relationships.

The KonMari method can be a useful lens through which to evaluate relationships, but Kirmayer warns against being too hasty. “Unlike objects or a piece of clothing, relationships are dynamic,” she says. “They’re fluid; things change based on our moods, the day, or our life circumstances. So drawing conclusions from one moment in time or one situation, and deciding to cut people out of our lives, doesn’t really make sense the same way it does with inanimate objects.”

Instead, assess the full spectrum of your relationship. “Think about the emotional experience as something that occurs over time,” Kirmayer says. “Overall, things should balance out–there should be a net positive.” That’s where using........

© Fast Company