When I coach water polo, one of the first things I tell my team is, "Success doesn't always end in a goal." Players forget their fundamentals — not to mention teamwork and good sportsmanship — when all they think about is scoring. In the long run, this actually makes the whole team less effective. I want them to focus on the process instead of fixating on the end result.
The result doesn't actually change my central responsibility as a coach. Win or lose, my job is still the same: to facilitate an open and honest analysis of what happened, including what went well and what didn't. Winning a few games doesn't mean the team is finished growing.
I take the same view when I mentor employees at FutureFund, my SaaS company that provides a free fundraising platform for K-12 schools. In either case, I'm pushing people towards developing expertise in their field — showing them how to find the wins and identify areas for improvement no matter what outcomes they achieve.
But expertise isn't something that can just be given to you — it's something you earn, which requires the ability to self-reflect. So, as a coach or business mentor, I don't provide answers. Instead, I lead people toward finding answers for themselves.
That means my greatest tool as a mentor is the ability to ask questions. Here are the ones I find most........