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The relief over clear cancer scan made me whoop like a banshee – Susan Morrison

7 1 5

It's actually got a name, ‘scanxiety’, and the leaflet helpfully suggested setting time limits on how long you allowed yourself to remain anxious, which is about as sensible as telling a toddler they could tantrum for exactly 12 minutes.

The word ‘mild’ is interesting. My anxiety levels roar past benchmarks like driving tests, wedding planning and smash through records set by EasyJet ground crew facing 300 raging plane-free passengers.

You are a sleepwalker waking up in a minefield. One step in any direction and the gibbering anxiety baboons come screeching up out of the dirt.

There's a constant chattering background commentary of possible outcomes and what they mean. My scanxiety has a voice. It sounds like Murray Walker.

I think it's because I........

© Edinburgh Evening News

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