A itchisonia-upon-Chenab, February 22: In a startling new development that has sent waves of huzzahs throughout insane asylums, nothing happened in the Republic of Cliftonia yesterday. Peace prevailed, as it always has, in every nook, corner, niche and alcove of the Republic. In fact, reports coming in from across the nation confirm that even the Republic’s round edges remained bathed in bucketfuls of undiluted peace. 

Last week, 595,629 flowers bloomed in Aitchisonia-upon-Chenab, ushering in the much-awaited spring season. Around 320,450 beautifully-plumed Siberian Bloompanthers — Ciftonia’s national bird — flew and nested in the 927,328 evergreen trees planted by the authorities last Friday, as part of their ‘A Bird In Tree Is Worth Two In The Bush’ campaign.

Speaking to the media, Jimmy Jirga, Minister of Bird-Settling, Cravats and Brunches, said that the arrival of such an unprecedented number of birds augured well for the future of the food industry.

“There has been a deluge of birds to match the tsunami of trees that I had personally planted last month,” he said. “For what is a bird if not nature’s way of supplying us with eggs. And you will be pleased to know that not a single one of our birds has found mention in the X-Files, which have recently been released by the Federal Bureau of the Department of Justice and Central Intelligence. This has........

© Dawn (Magazines)