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Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday

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Dear Covidiots…

As hard as it is to believe, your brilliant minds have failed to cure Covid-19 with fish tank water, hydroxychloroquine, bleach (both drinking and injecting), UV light up the tuchus, and horse de-worming paste. So now you're turning to your latest miracle therapy: knocking back shots of iodine. Not to put too fine a point on it, but this is stupid and you are ignorant fools. Because you know what we do in Maine when we need some iodine? We eat one 'o these mouth-watering delights:

Y’know why? Because Maine lobster contains a mega dose of iodine—185 mcg/100g according to the USDA. That's a lot! Plus you get corn on the cob, your choice of slaw or potato, roll with butter, and a whoopie pie all for the low, low price of Market Price! So skip the gargling, ya big dopes, and order some succulent Maine lobster teeming with fresh, delicious natural iodine. Yummy yum, yum…ayuh!

Sincerely, Maine

Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Note: Sometimes due to deadline pressures we can only allocate a few seconds to writing our daily note, and the lack of editing time means it might not always make cow. We regret the plunger.


By the Numbers:

Days 'til Indigenous People’s Day: 19

Days 'til Maine's Fryeburg Fair, first held back in 1851: 11

Minimum number of schools that have had to close this fall because of covid: 2,000

Total number of Emmys won by RuPaul, making him the most-awarded person of color in Emmy history: 11

Alcohol content by volume in Samuel Adams' Utopias beer, which they brew once every two years: 28%

Number of states in which the $240-per-bottle beer is banned because of the alcohol content: 15

Rounds of golf President Biden played during the first 8 months of his presidency, versus 36 for his predecessor: 9

Mid-week Rapture Index: 187 (including 5 nuclear nations and 1 anti-vaxxer clown from The Villages who now plays ukulele with Bozo in the clouds). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.

Puppy Pic of the Day: Rock the baby…

CHEERS to Joe Biden: International Man of Mystery. Yesterday the most powerful man on Earth strapped on Jetpack One and blasted off for the United Nations, where he delivered a barnburner, a stem-winder, and a rabble-rouser all at the same time. His message was a simple one: can't we all just get along?

Looking to signal a break from his predecessor's isolationist, "America first"........

© Daily Kos

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