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Cheers and Jeers: Thursday

4 2 10
14.07.2022

Oh! More Things I Know…

» It's another day ending in y, and that means it's another day that the federal government-hating states’ rights states down south will greedily and ungratefully accept a disproportionately large share of federal tax dollars.

» I hope Attorney General Merrick Garland is thinking about prosecuting Donald Trump more than I’m thinking Attorney General Merrick Garland isn’t thinking about prosecuting Donald Trump.

» People always give me funny looks when I assert my religious freedom by stoning an adulterer.

Continued...

» I know we're all really excited about the potential of windmills to generate power, but let's not lose sight of why we're installing them in the first place: to grind our grain.

» One difference between liberals and conservatives is, liberals fix their mistakes to keep up with reality while conservatives fix their reality to keep up with their mistakes.

» If we're looking for a way to carry out the death penalty without getting all gross about it, we should give either boredom or chocolate a try.

» The media has gone from breathlessly reporting on every tweet by President Trump to non-breathlessly not reporting on any tweet by President Biden.

» When the moon starts waxing, I always sing my favorite song: I Made It Through the Wane.

» If walking into a dark kitchen at 3am and stepping in cat vomit is a sign of being God's chosen one, then it looks like I'm your guy.

» No sentence will ever begin with, "As the great Lauren Boebert once said…"

» The best-tasting water in the world will always come from squirt guns.

» And one for our visiting Q-Anon trolls: "Palmolive implants microchips while you do dishes. You're soaking in it now."

And now, our feature presentation...

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Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, July 14, 2022

Note: The C&J laundry service has been discontinued on account of we got lazy. You can grab your duds out in the garage. They’re under the cat.

By the Numbers:

Days 'til National Ice Cream Day: 3

Days 'til the Delaware State Fair: 7

Current price of oil, per CNBC: $96.11

Percent of Republican womenfolk polled by The New York Times who say they'll support Trump if he runs again, versus 52% of cultist menfolk: 45%

Number of new foods being unveiled at the Minnesota State Fair:........

© Daily Kos


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