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Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!

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30.07.2022

Late Night Snark: Dog Days Edition

"Out of nowhere, Senator Joe Manchin reached a deal with his Democratic colleagues that would lower health care costs, reduce the federal deficit and, most importantly, combat climate change. All the provisions were originally Joe Biden's idea. But in his announcement, Manchin proclaimed 'Build Back Better is dead, and instead we have an opportunity to make our country stronger by bringing Americans together.' Yes—Build Back Better is dead. Instead, Manchin is going to Construct Again Things More Good."
—Stephen Colbert

"Today President Biden officially ended his quarantine after testing negative for Covid. Yeah, Biden beat Covid. And luckily Covid conceded gracefully."
—Jimmy Fallon

Continued…

How the #@!!% did you get below the fold? I really need a new bouncer.

"Republican congressman Matt Gaetz spoke over the weekend at a conservative student action summit in Florida. Said Gaetz: You had me at 'student.'"
—Seth Meyers

“Most economists thought inflation would go away on its own. And some of the loudest voices on Wall Street were arguing against the Fed raising interest rates because they too thought inflation would be transitory. For instance, Jim Cramer—the answer to the question, what if a garbage can full of cocaine and business school pamphlets wished to be a real boy?"
—John Oliver

On Taco Tuesday, no less! That's just salted caramel in the wound. pic.twitter.com/jFHoZcrUig

“Russia is pulling out of the International Space Station, when all we asked them to do was pull out of Ukraine. Is this a Google Translate issue?”
—Trevor Noah

"Nearly half of Republican primary voters are seeking someone [besides Trump] for president in 2024, and a significant number are vowing to abandon him if he wins the nomination. So that means the [Jan. 6] hearings are working. The former president has been betrayed by his closest friend: TV."
—Stephen Colbert

"A former strip club has been turned into a Christian day school. It's gonna be weird on Parent-Teacher Day when all the dads know their way around the building."
—Jimmy Fallon

And now, our feature presentation...

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Cheers and Jeers for Friday, July 29, 2022

Note: To maximize your C&J experience to its fullest, please make sure I am financially comfortable for the rest of my life. Together, we can make a........

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