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Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!

2 3 11
09.07.2022

Late Night Snark: SCOTUS Fallout Continues Edition

"Men have had all kinds of reactions to last week's abortion ruling. Ever since the Supreme Court struck down Roe v. Wade urologists have seen a spike in vasectomies. I've never personally performed a vasectomy, but I'd like to try my very first one on Samuel Alito."
Jimmy Kimmel Live guest host Chelsea Handler

"Justice Stephen Breyer retired and Ketanji Brown Jackson was sworn in as the newest Supreme Court justice. Justice Jackson made history as the first Black woman and the first person to make people cheer for the Supreme Court in the past two weeks."
—Jimmy Fallon

Continued...

You are now below the fold. Where everything is lightly-breaded.

"I'm glad Medieval Times workers are trying to unionize. I love Medieval Times. Where else can you get a glimpse of what America's gonna look like when this Supreme Court is done?"
—Trevor Noah

“Roses are red / violets are blue / do something for the love of god Democrats we already voted for you.”
—Samantha Bee

Fox News is trying to stir up their usual trouble. #ACloserLook pic.twitter.com/Rq28PhVNQU

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: At the end of the [Jan. 6] hearing, when you hear that Mark Meadows—chief of staff to the president himself—asked for a pardon because he knew he was breaking the law to seize power and undermine democracy in the United States, it is stunning…and that the president himself was willing to choke his own Secret Service.
Stephen Colbert: You know the detail that I like? He goes to grab the steering wheel—and this is how long it's been since he's driven himself anywhere—he thinks you can drive from the back seat. He forgot about the pedals.
The Late Show

Happy Birthday Declaration of Independence—you may be older, but you’re aging much better than the Constitution.
—Conan O'Brien on Twitter

And now, our feature presentation...

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Cheers and Jeers for Friday, July 8, 2022

Note: Got a text last night from the International Space Station: Send oxygen now! Send oxygen now! “ Yeah, like I'm just sitting on a bunch of extra air. Set up a GoFundMe account or whatever the kids do these days. I’m not a scientist!

By the Numbers:

Days 'til Festivus: 168

Days 'til the Marysville Peach Festival in California: 7

Number of job openings employers posted in May, higher than forecasters estimated: 11.3 million

Estimated number of humans on Planet Earth who have severe or moderate difficulty finding enough food to eat, according to a new report from the U.N.: 2.3 billion

Jobs created last month, higher than forecast: 372,000

Number of school shootings in the U.S. since 2018 because we don’t have the brains to ban the goddam guns:........

© Daily Kos


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