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Cheers and Jeers: Monday

5 3 1
01.08.2022

Headlines You Won’t Read Today

Trump Social Media Empire Flying High

Rep. Boebert Experiences Moment of Mental Clarity

Culture Cancels Cancel Culture Cancellation

Putin Outsmarts Zelenskyy

Justice Alito Looks Totally Not Dorky In His Glue-On Beard

Continued...

Truth Makes It Halfway Around the World Before Lie Can Get Its Pants On

Rep. Katie Porter's White Board Numbers Don’t Add Up

Calligraphist Runs Out of Room Listing Ted Cruz's Pluses on Grain of Rice

President Biden Fleeces Taxpayers on Resort Golf Cart Rentals

NRA Influence Reaches Record High

Susan Collins Expresses Genuine Concern

Majority of Americans Agree: Summer Going By Too Slowly

Josh Hawley Runs Toward Danger!

Uvalde Sheriff Follows Right Behind Josh Hawley!

Planet Earth to Humanity: I’ll Miss You When You’re Gone

You are up to date on what isn’t happening. And now, our feature presentation...

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Cheers and Jeers for Monday, August 1, 2022

Note: Don’t forget that today is random drug-testing day in C&J. If you test negative, you'll be escorted to the exit by security. And since security is currently high as a kite, we'd appreciate it if you'd help them find the exit. Thank you. —Mgt.

By the Numbers:

Days 'til the midterm elections: 99

Days 'til Illinois' Cobden Peach Festival on Appleknocker Drive: 3

Wage growth for private sector workers in the second quarter, up from 5% in the second quarter last year: 5.7%

Minimum number of points by which Senator Mark Kelly (D-AZ) is leading his potential MAGA cult opponents in the latest Beacon Research polling: 10

Record profits made by Exxon Mobil and Chevron, respectively, during the time that gas prices went through the roof during the 2nd quarter: $17.85 billion / $11.62 billion

Percent chance that MAGA cultist senators Ted Cruz and Steve Daines fist-bumped each other after voting against a bill to expand health care for veterans affected by toxic burn pits while on active duty: 100%

Number of Trader Joe's employees in Hadley, Massachusetts who voted to approve the first union in the 530-store chain: 81

Puppy Pic of the Day: Yes. Yes it does…

CHEERS to August. The dog days. The month everybody, not just Congress, should be allowed to take off. The month everyone wears out their whites because they know Labor Day's just around the corner. The 13th is the high Republican holiday known as "Blame Someone Else Day" and the next 31 days will also see National Raspberry Cream Pie Day, Watermelon Day, Ice Cream Sandwich Day, Mustard Day, Potatoe Day (I........

© Daily Kos


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