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Cheers and Jeers: July 4, 1776 Edition

4 8 52
04.07.2022

Still the best history lesson on the founding of our country I’ve seen. In fact, it’s certified “100% Texas School Board approved”:

Our annual posting of the original Cheers and Jeers from July 4, 1776—discovered gathering dust and mold behind some rotten drywall at the farm of Phinneas Pawpatch on July 5, 1776—starts below the ye olde folde.

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Note: Whomever used mine only copy of Common Sense to wipe their hiney in yon shitehouse this morning shall be punished by the switch. Wretched cur.

By Thy Numbers:
Days ‘til the official reading of the Declaration in Philadelphia: 4
Weight, in pounds, of "the old bell" that will be rung, among others, to gather Philadelphia residents for the first reading of the Declaration: 2,080
Number of Declaration signers: 56
Number of quills that merry-prankster delegates stuck in William Whipple’s wig before he noticed and threw a continental hissy fit: 16
Ben Franklin's age at the time of signing: 70
Number of signers nicknamed "Old Bacon Face": 1 (Samuel Chase)
Number of Dunlap Broadsides (copies of the Declaration) that will be made tonight by John Dunlap: 200
Number of people currently living in the colonies: 2.5 million
Number of times John Adams stepped on Thomas Jefferson’s foot during the signing: 1

Puppy Pic of Thine Day: General Washington is an avid fox hunter, and his canine of choice is the tireless fox hound:

The reason he makes them sleep in the stable and not the master’s manse can be summed up thusly: foxhound SBDs.

CHEERS to the Declaration. The boys in Congress took a deep breath and drew a helluva line in the sand today. Britain, it’s not you, it’s us. Okay, it really is you,........

© Daily Kos


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