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Megxit! Australian republicans dare to dream

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24.01.2020

A humourless republican, with a lifelong dislike of the royal family, I was several paragraphs into reading the news story Royal Thieves: Queen Elizabeth Says That Harry And Meghan Took All 50 Sets Of Her Dentures With Them When They Left Buckingham Palace, before it began to occur to me that the story might, perhaps, be a satire.

The Duchess and Duke of Sussex. Picture: Shutterstock

For a few paragraphs the story had, for a humourless, socialistic republican, the ring of truth about it.

How like the Queen, I fumed, the richest woman in the world and the very symbol of bloated privilege, that she should have 50 sets of dentures (no doubt handcrafted by the world's leading denturesmiths, perhaps from the finest precious mammoth-tusk ivory, precisely tailored to fit the regal gums). Meanwhile millions of her working-class subjects must make do, for life, with their one set of one-size-fits-all, plastic, factory-made knockabout gnashers.

Then, as well, the news of Harry and Meghan's opportunistic last-minute looting of all they can carry away to Canada had a certain plausibility about it.

But it was when the story went on to say "The Queen says that she spent the entire afternoon yesterday running through the streets of London with a meat cleaver in an attempt to track them down and murder them to get her dentures back"........

© Canberra Times