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2019 federal election's dolphin-infested waters

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11.05.2019

A poster for the 1975 film Jaws, directed by Steven Spielberg.

Some of the deep disappointment I have with the Liberal Party's unentertaining election campaign is reminding me of my deep disappointment with the film Jaws (1975).

One had looked forward to both entertainments being thrillingly, spine-chillingly, scrotum-shrivellingly scary (in the welcome ways in which the best horror movies thrill us with terror). Alas, though, both the unforgettable 1975 movie and this forgettable 2019 Liberal effort have lacked the oomph needed to chill and shrivel a discerning consumer's terror-receptive body parts.

Let me explain.

Jaws has gone on to inspire a whole genre of shark movies (more of that genre in a moment) and most of them are far better than the clunky original.

What made 1975's Jaws a failure for me was the way in which, the suspense having been brilliantly built by nightmarish fears of a giant, man-eating shark, our first real look at the shark made some of us laugh. It looked so very fake.

You'll remember how, about 20 suspenseful minutes into the action, the brute rears up out of the water, showing itself to be as big as a house and with fangs the size and shape of surf boards. The spectre of it inspires the famous remark by a shaken shark-hunter that "We're gonna need a bigger........

© Canberra Times