By Joseph J. Bucci ——Bio and Archives--June 24, 2024
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I am guessing that for some of you, when you saw the title of the article, you joined with me in singing the famous line from the Rolling Stones song, “You Can't Always Get What You Want” (Jagger and Richards, 1969). I sang that line many times raising five children, before they even knew there was an 8-track tape song with that title. Did I say 8-track? Jagger finishes that chorus by saying, “But if you try sometimes, well, you might find, you get what you need” (Jagger and Richards, 1969).
And that’s essentially what we are told in life. You cannot always get what you want, but if you get what you need, you should be satisfied. There are many people who strive to achieve great success, pursuing vigorously what they want, and when they get there, it is not at all what they thought it would be. They are miserable and it is never enough. That is what we are told.
Is this really true? Is it true that striving for want you want and then getting it will not necessarily make you satisfied. Because this is really the answer to the question. “If I get what I want, will this be enough?”
There is actually data to support this idea. A study written up on the financial website MarketWatch.com found that after people achieve a certain household income level, more income than this had a tendency to be linked with reduced life satisfaction and a diminished sense of well-being (Hill, 2018). OK, well give me a lower sense of well-being and less satisfaction if I can pay my bills, right? But it is something to consider.
Working to achieve more and more – trying to “get what you (think you) want” – sometimes takes precedent over an appreciation for the precious things in life, like enjoying our growing children, nurturing our spouse, or building memories and relationships. This is also addressed in the MarketWatch article. The author quotes from psychologist Elizabeth Lombardo, who identifies this continual drive to achieve more as the “treadmill effect” (Hill, 2018). For some people, the next thing has to be bigger and better than what we had before. In that sense, lacking satisfaction........