By Joseph J. Bucci ——Bio and Archives--November 30, 2024

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I watch in the dark as she tenderly tucks him into bed, caressing his shoulder and gazing at him to be sure that he is comfortable. He is 91 and fighting the battle of his life. Dementia has taken over his mind, and it often causes confusion and eruptions of anger and anxiety. But here, in the dark, his daughter speaks softly to him in hushed tones. She knows who he really is, and whispers to him about how much she loves him; and how she will always love him. He has done so much for her throughout her life; and now it is her time to repay him.

I sit in the silence and cry. I’m amazed at how much she loves him – but should I be? She has known him her whole life, and seen his love expressed to her in works of service and ways that only a self-taught man could express it. I start to wonder from where do we learn to love; and how does it grow? Do we learn it from our parents? What if your parents are absent, or they’re not the touchy-feely type of people? One expert wrote that loving and being loved are not things that we should assume as standards for everyone (Tower, 2019). Children who come into the world are not always loved or wanted, and that certainly impacts their own understanding of love (Tower, 2019). Is there hope for these children to know this kind of love?

The hard-wiring to feel love is within each human being. It may begin as a gentle touch, and the absence of pain. A sense of safety and security cause babies to respond to their caregivers with an open door to their hearts (Tower, 2019). There is a thing called a “secure attachment” (Psychology Today Staff, n.d.), which forms an emotional bond that is the cornerstone of a loving relationship. This attachment is built on trust, and this becomes the bridge to social and emotional development (Psychology Today Staff, n.d.). In other words, her father’s lavish support and understanding, no........

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