‘Sign the extension, you crazy bastards’: Premier goes ‘full Donald’ at Gather Round

April 9, 2026 — 3:50pm

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South Australian Premier Peter Malinauskas took a new tack on Wednesday night. Tired of not getting traction in his campaign to the AFL for a long extension to Gather Round in his state, he pivoted in his negotiating tactic.

He invoked “The Donald”.

Encouraged by the apparent success of the powdery president’s potty-mouthed braggadocio as he pushed for a ceasefire in a war he started, Malinauskas figured that if something as serious as world peace could be influenced by crude diplomacy, then why not something as relatively inconsequential as football? So he went full Donald.

Besides, Trump is the greatest negotiator the world has ever seen. Just ask him.

So at the Gather Round welcome dinner in the genteel environs of Penfolds’ Magill Estate, in an ornate dining pavilion erected just for the weekend, over a starter of wagyu tataki with ernabella radishes and mustard and with some heavy lifting by the Bin 389 cabernet shiraz, Malinauskas went MAGA.

“I was thinking this afternoon of the events of the ceasefire and what led up to it,” Malinauskas intoned.

“And I thought maybe I need to take a leaf out of the book of the world’s greatest self-proclaimed deal-maker and negotiator, and so I thought I would take that seriously and act on The Donald’s lead.

“So I am going to change our negotiating tactic, Andrew [Dillon, AFL CEO], and I am going to dial things up with a tweet. And in the spirit of transparency ... I should let you know I am about to post on Truth Social the following: ‘Sign the Gather Round extension, you f---ing crazy bastards. You will all be living in hell, just watch. Praise be to the Jarmans, the Eberts, the Chocos. Thank you for your attention to this matter’.”

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Much laughter followed.

As a political orator, Malinauskas tends more to the erudite former US president Barack Obama, but as far as working your crowd goes, this was disarmingly good.

Whether it works or not is another matter, and more contingent on troublesome logistics than creative persuasion.

Malinauskas wants a long-term extension to the contract with the AFL to host the round of football in his state. It is, for those who can be there, tremendously enjoyable and an undoubted success for South Australia.

The AFL likes it too. In ordinary circumstances, it would be as obliging as a Trump cabinet member, in robust agreement with Malinauskas.

But these are not ordinary circumstances. Tasmania is coming into the competition in 2028. This causes yet another twist in a fixture already so knotted and corrupted it could break all AI algorithms.

The AFL would offer Malinauskas a one-year extension for Gather Round – until Tassie comes in – but he doesn’t want that. He wants a longer-term commitment; sick of dating, he thinks the AFL should move in.

But the league can’t commit to that because there are myriad problems presented with the fixture post the Devils arrival. Firstly and most obviously, in a 19-team competition, one team per week will have a bye. That would naturally mean one team would miss out in Gather Round each year.

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But the 19th team almost means the fixture is likely to have to change from 23 rounds, to either a 22- or 24-round competition to manage byes and logistics. The AFL needs the players’ agreement to extend it out to 24 rounds.

A 24-round season with wildcard round thrown in, plus four weeks of finals, means football for 29 weeks of the year.

In any arrangement of games with a 19-team competition, there remains a question of who gets the bye in the last round of the season.

Is it unfair, or helpful, for a team in the top six to have a final-round bye, then the week off for a wildcard round they would not be required to play in, then one final and potentially not another the next week before a preliminary final?

The AFL loves the idea of Gather Round – as do other states, who are enviously lobbying for a piece of the action – but whether it can work in this expanded competition is yet to become clear.

Opening round, in its iterations to date, is less popular as a concept than Gather Round. But there is a chance the two are merged, and all games are played in the two northern states in opening round (the problem still remains of one team having a bye).

That won’t please Malinauskas.

The AFL appears keen to conjure an arrangement that preserves what it agrees with Malinauskas is a success in how it is staged in South Australia. But it remains at a loss to as yet to work out how to do it.

The AFL will have to find a more artful deal.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

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