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Eddie and the ARU: The obvious solution to a Sticky situation

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18.10.2019

Et tu, Sticky?

Of all the Australians who have turned coat for the Rugby World Cup in Japan, surely Ricky Stuart’s defection to Eddie Jones’s England camp, as some kind of consultant-mentor-advisor-counsellor-eminence grise, hurts the most.

The nation embraced Ricky and his green agony after the NRL grand final and he’s done this to us.

We can think of so many better things he could be doing with his off-season. He and his post-grand final face could be the sponsor’s mascot at the Downer World Rugby League Nines. Or if he’s really angry, he could just go to Bali, where he can take out his frustration and do whatever he wants to random nutbags under the protection of ‘defending his mates’.

Illustration: Simon LetchCredit:

Instead, Ricky has gone to Japan to provide wisdom to the auld enema. We can only forgive him if his pre-match speech to the England rugby team is along the lines of: "You’re going to outplay them in every department, but a refereeing stuff-up in the final minutes will rob you of the match and rip out your hearts, so I’m here to tell you how to handle your grief."

Of course, the seduction of Sticky is another little pinprick from that arch little pinprick, Eddie Jones, who, predictably, has denied doing it to aggravate Australians, saying he’s been a mate of Sticky’s since forever and this was always part of the plan.

But you can bet that at some long-ago training session on Coogee Oval in the late '80s or early '90s, Michael Cheika confessed that his all-time hero was that champion playmaker and could-have-been Wallaby Ricky Stuart; Jones has never forgotten and now he’s done this to make sure........

© Brisbane Times