Shortly after my divorce, I made an impulse purchase. This is not unusual for me; just the other day I arrived home with a new top when I had just popped out for milk. This was, however, the first time my impulse purchase had a pulse.

I bought a pet. Well, I rescued a pet, but even a rescue pet costs money. There are vaccinations to administer, adoption fees to pay, paraphernalia to acquire, and then an entire set of furniture to replace the upholstered chairs destroyed by your new pet.

Penny was not the brightest cat, but she was our cat.Credit: Shutterstock

I did not get a dog. I like dogs, but the thought of having to walk, wash and groom a pet gives me a sense of overwhelming fatigue. I already have three kids. I need a self-cleaning, self-exercising, self-toileting pet, one that offers maximal cuddling value with minimal input. It was either a lizard or a cat. I chose a cat.

I’d wanted a cat for years, but I’d been married to a man who was violently allergic to felines. When our kids were very little we’d compromised and adopted some bunnies. But, like our marriage, they did not survive. (Unlike our marriage, a neighbourhood fox was strongly implicated in their demise.)

A couple of weeks after the kids and I........

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