Twelve years ago, I wrote a letter to a family I will never meet.
I received a donor cornea and was given the opportunity to write anonymously to the donor’s family. I was grateful, as I would be able to honour the donor and their family’s commitment to follow through with their wishes.
It was challenging to know that for my surgery to proceed, someone somewhere had to die.Credit: Tanya Lake
Soon after the surgery, I started the letter many times. It brought me to tears, which irritated my eye, which had tiny stitches embroidering the new cornea in place.
What are the right words? It became clear there were none, and I had to press on. I’ve lost parents, a nephew and others close to me. The silence from people who couldn’t find the right words and avoided the issue was worse than any sometimes hamfisted words from those who tried.
I began, “I might not get the words right, but I am hoping that in this period of immense sadness that you, the donor family, can draw strength, comfort and hope from the selfless act of organ donation.”
In the months before my surgery, I often thought about my future donor. My specialist had given me a surgery date........