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After two weeks in the Tenerife sun, it will be a relief to get back to work

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Greetings from Tenerife. Thirty degrees, unbroken sunshine, gentle sea breeze, nice villa with pool, beers chilling in the fridge. How’s Belfast?

Truth be told, though, I’m not the greatest fan of holidays. That probably explains why I am sat here writing a Belfast Telegraph column while the kids are hurtling down slides at a nearby water park.

Holidays require a solid two weeks of interaction with the family. Tough going for someone who finds two hours a stretch.

Roll on school term time. Children arrive home, ask them a couple of banal questions about how their school day went, receive monosyllabic grunts in reply, tell them to do homework. Job done. Perfect parenting.

On holiday, the aforementioned offspring have the temerity to want entertainment from dad. Daily. Hourly, even. Not ideal for a tired, grumpy, middle-aged man who, secretly, would rather just sit on the sofa checking his work emails, ignoring my own auto-reply that I won’t be checking any.

What’s worse this year is that I am trying to make amends, having written off Christmas — the one other major family week — by infecting the family with Covid.

Everyone got it worse than me as well. Honestly, Jim Allister touring west Belfast would have been more popular.

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My ideal ‘break’ involves a connection........

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