OPINION | GWEN FORD FAULKENBERRY: Giving my body a voice |
Democrat-Gazette online
A theme of my life in the last several years has been learning to listen to my body. In reflection on how I got to where I am along the path of life, I realize what a poor job I have done of this in the past 45 or so years. I say 45 because I am 54 now, and the first memory I have of deliberately ignoring my body was when I was 9 or 10 years old in the fourth grade.
A family in my town who had kids scattered around my age had an awful wreck on Arkansas 23 around one of the hairpin curves. It killed the father and placed the mother in critical condition with a terrible brain injury. The boy nearest my age was the next most seriously injured. My mother took me to see him in the hospital, and I remember walking into his room and seeing his leg elevated with a metal pin through the bend of his knee. His face was swollen, eyes black, and he had several broken teeth.
A wave of nausea engulfed me. I felt dizzy and sick, but wanted to be strong for my friend. I tried to act cheerful. The next thing I knew my mother was picking me up off the ground.
It was still a few years before I would try to suppress my hunger for fear of gaining weight or feel physical desire for a boy but not know what to do with it other than discipline myself and try to limit my boyfriends' advances. I prayed for the strength to "stay pure" for my future husband. As it became more important to me........