As with so many events, I blame pop culture, specifically film and TV, for giving me an unrealistic idea of how things in the real world operate. Last week, for the first time, I found myself rushing to the emergency department (that’s the ED for those in the know) at my local hospital after my son became unwell.

If pushed, I would’ve described his symptoms as “high fever, low vibes”, but medically speaking, he was registering a temperature of 39 degrees, struggling to keep food down and appearing more pale than usual, so off to the ED we went.

The ED department: the ultimate test of patients and patience. Credit: Marija Ercegovac

Having been raised on a steady diet of Grey’s Anatomy, House and Scrubs, I assumed that upon our arrival, I would kick my way through a set of swinging doors, where a team of doctors from all corners of the hospital would rush to meet me.

Everyone is wearing scrubs and they’re all obviously attractive, though not so attractive that it feels unbelievable they studied and completed medicine. Immediately, it becomes clear there is unresolved romantic tension between two co-workers, but we’ll get onto that later because there’s an emergency to deal with right now.

My son feels sick, and his throat is sore (it’s almost certainly a common viral infection), so can someone please call The-Brilliant-But-Flawed doctor on duty to come and solve this problem? Stat!

Unfortunately, the reality was quite different. The doors were automatic sliding doors, which made kicking them impossible. Instead of being greeted by a team of doctors, I was met by a single admission clerk sitting behind a glass window, who seemed so sad I wondered if he was also experiencing some type of emergency.

After volunteering the vital information as fast as possible (sick baby, very sad, please help), we were told to take our seats and that the doctor “would be out soon”. Judging by the vacant faces of the other people waiting, two things became quite clear. The doctor hadn’t been “out soon” in some time and sadness, it seemed, was contagious.

If you’ve ever spent time in the ED, you’ll know exactly the vibe I’m referring to: hordes of patients in various states of distress, silently praying that their names will be called next.