The minute the calendar ticks into December, several Christmas-themed events start happening. Somewhere, deep in the North Pole, Mariah Carey and Michael Bublé are thawed out and sent on their carol crusade. Decorations are dusted off, the quality of advent calendar chocolate is debated, and we all prepare for a month of merriment.

We are famously told it’s the most wonderful time of the year, but no one really talks about how it’s also the most intensely stressful time of the year because we are expected to catch up with everyone we’ve ever met.

Seeing family and friends is one thing, but must I celebrate the festive season with people from my gym?Credit: Marija Ercegovac

Over the past week, my wife has been quietly populating our shared calendar with a series of catch-ups with people whose names I barely recognise: Christmas drinks with Sam and Evie! Xmas lunch with Sally and her boys :) Kris Kringle at Justin’s! PS The present limit is $50, pls don’t go over!

Honestly, I could not pick Justin out of a lineup, so the idea of spending more than $50 on him is insane, but more importantly, no amount of excited exclamation marks or cute emojis will distract me from the reality that Christmas has been hijacked.

Once a special season reserved for friends and family, Christmas now doubles as a panicked bandaid for relationships that are on life support. If we’ve spent the previous 11 months largely ignoring each other, save for the occasional clap emoji on an Instagram story, why must we rush to catch up before December 25?

To make matters worse, sandwiched between drinks with Sam and Evie and Justin’s famous Kris Kringle are the seemingly endless onslaught of unnecessary Christmas parties. In previous years, I only committed to parties based on a specific set of criteria: how much fun will I have, and how obligated am I to attend?

Top of the list was my annual Friendsmas, which is, for the uninitiated, a gathering of close friends that is often more fun than your actual Christmas Day. Everyone brings a plate and gets dressed up, but really, it’s just an excuse to drink a vaguely festive cocktail and hang out with people you like the most.

Then there is the Office Christmas Party, the event we all pretend to loathe but secretly love.